Not Quite Vintage

one word and 1 thing in 2010

I have to admit I have been wildly excited for 2010 to get here for a while. I think I was mostly looking for a fresh start. I say that knowing 2009 wasn’t a bad year (I prove it to myself later in this post), but it was really challenging for me.  So, now that 2010 is here, my insides are a mix of excitement for the future and fear of change. I am trying to channel that fear into motivation and I have been looking for a good way to express what I specifically want for 2010.

Last year I chose a word to define my year and wrote a crafty to do list. Looking back, I think half of it was pretty successful. I feel like I did a pretty good job with my word, but not with my to do list. I am such a to do list person, but I am learning that to do lists seem to be more successful in the short term. My to do list didn’t take into consideration that during the year priorities may change and other needs (versus wants) might become more important than sewing a jacket or learning to free motion quilt. I look back at the to do list and focus on the things I didn’t do, not the things I did (take a class and learn more about machine embroidery) – and it surely doesn’t point out all the other great things I prioritized instead (see list below). On the other hand, my one word, Grace, gave me space to ebb and flow throughout the year (to make mistakes and try again) and it guided me into becoming an even better version of myself with more defined priorities, a clearer vision of my future and a desire to go out an grab my dreams (even if I am scared).

I really believe that my one word was more successful because it was grounded in Intention. So, I have decided to pick a word for 2010, Choice, and because I still have a penchant for to do lists, I have also decided to participate in Michelle from When I Grow Up blog meme called 1 Thing in 2010. It helped me create a to do list of sorts, but not one of grounded in what ifs or wishes, but one grounded in Intention.

Here are my 1 Thing answers. They are wordy, so read at your own risk and know it is quite scary for me to put all this out there for everyone to read, but we are all friends, right : )

If you were only allowed to have 1 Intention for 2010, what would it be & why? My one intention for 2010 would be to make sure that every Choice I make, no matter how small or how large, is in alignment with my core values. Small choices are just as important as large ones. Each Choice I make that honors myself and my values of kindness, love, health, grace, simplicity, family, creativity and faith will help me gain strength and confidence. I intend for the choices I make in 2010 to help me move forward, find clarity and gain momentum toward building the life of my dreams. My one word for 2010 is Choice.

If you were only allowed to have 1 Goal for 2010, what would it be & how can you achieve it? The one overarching goal I have for 2010 is to actively pursue my future/my dreams. I think there is part of me that always thought that if I wait long enough all the things I dream of will happen, that the answers will just come. As I grow older I am realizing that the only way my dreams are going to come true is if I am more of active participant in the pursuit of them. There may be one little snag in this plan, while I have an understanding of what I want for my personal life and am ready to take steps to make that happen, I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Is it what I am currently doing in a different environment or is it something entirely new – I am just not sure. So, I envision 2010 to be a year of exploring and questioning, of stepping out of my comfort zone and trying new things.

If you had to do 1 New Thing in 2010, what would it be? Will you commit to it now? One of the things I am doing to actively pursue my future is to sign up for classes on topics that interest me.  I am already signed up for a natural health and wellness course and hope to sign up for a small business course too. While taking classes isn’t new to me, the topics are. Okay, so honestly I considered about putting Internet dating for the answer of this question, but it still scares me so I am not quite ready to commit to it. There just has to be another way.

If you had to get rid of 1 Thing in 2010, what would it be & why? I would like to get rid of my tendency toward negative language and self talk in 2010. Seriously, why is it so easy to be hard on myself, to point out the negative instead of acknowledging the positive? To get rid of negative language also means I am going to work on adding positive language in 2010 – not just in self-talk, but in all conversation.

What have you achieved in 2009? List it all!  Looking back on 2009, while I struggled to keep my head above water through most of it, I have to admit I really did accomplish a lot, including: Took a crochet class and became addicted • submitted 2 sewing patterns for a craft book that were accepted and will be published in 2010 • had a sewing pattern published in a 2010 calendar • lost 15 pounds • learned to make myself a priority amongst all my obligations, realizing if I didn’t I couldn’t succeed in the other parts of my life • continued to work through grief • purged a lot of clutter • caught up on outdoor house projects • grew tomatoes for the first time • reveled in the simple glory of nature while watching a cardinal hatch and grow • participated in a virtual quilting bee and learned paper piecing quilting techniques • spent more time with my friends • exfoliated negative relationships • reconnected with my inner fine artist • was named my kickball team all-star • faced challenge at work, gained confidence and kept fighting even through the hard times • took good care of my Pop • made the decision to actively pursue my future

So my friends, do you have a one little word for 2010 or answers to Michelle’s 1 Thing in 2010 meme?

Can I just say writing this post was really cathartic and completely energizing. I am so ready for my fresh start in 2010!

focus

Do you ever feel like the universe is sending you a message? For the past few weeks, it seems that I have been bombarded with a similar message. Whether while catching up on blogs, reading email newsletters, watching tv, looking at magazines or checking out links friends send me, everything is telling me to FOCUS.

I shouldn’t be surprised. I often try to do too much, too many things with my time. Sometimes the too much and too many things are important things, other times they are quite unimportant, spur of the moment things. When I try to juggle too much of both, the important things tend to suffer. And worst, sometimes I am moving so fast that I can’t even tell  what is important anymore. 

Enter my summer blogging vacation. I needed a break to free up some time. Not active doing time, but brain time – thinking time. I needed to put blogging and crafting on the back burner so I could unclutter some of my to do lists and free up my thoughts.

I have spent so much of the time since my Momma passed away and since my Pops got sick (no worries now, almost a year cancer free now) taking care of my family, trying to keep my emotions treading water above the depression line and working to keep my job. I fit in crafting when I could and did the bare minimum I needed to around the house and the yard. My social life was pretty much nonexistent. After more than a year and a half I needed to take stock and figure out where I go from here.

Goodness, I have to say the ultimate where do I go from here part is still a big question mark, but I have been able to make a big dent in the physical uncluttering of my world. I have gotten back close to my fighting weight, I have cleaned the house thoroughly, I have donated a lot of my old clothes and home goods, I have reorganized my craft space, I have started checking off home improvement projects from my list. I could keep going, honestly I can’t believe how much I have accomplished this summer. Little things really have added up.

The physical uncluttering has given me some freedom. The freedom to take some time to relax, to reconnect with an old group of friends I really, really missed and to start contemplating anything I want to. I think it also got my brain going so much about all the possibilities that I cluttered it right back up – just with different subjects, too many subjects. This is where my next phase of uncluttering comes in – mental unlcuttering. I really think that is what universe is telling me to do now. All those messages couldn’t just be coincidence.

So I start a new journey of reclaiming attention and focusing my intention. I am sure there will be ups and downs along the way, but I am actively inviting goodness and can’t wait to see where the journey takes me. 

Don’t worry, there is plenty of room in this journey for blogging. All of you make this worth while and help me feel connected, inspired and grateful. I missed you while I was on vacation!

putting this goal out there...

I am trying, once again, to give up soda. It is probably my biggest vice. I am not talking about diet soda, I am a real soda type of girl. Coca-Cola Classic actually. And I like it iced up. I can tell you the best places to get fountain coke – it varies greatly you know...

I am not really sure where the addiction came from. We didn’t have soda (or pop as all my college friends called it) around the house growing up. My parents never really drank it. I remember starting to drink it in high school. When a soda and a bag of chips was a healthy lunch... Crazy, I know. In college, it became my caffeine of choice. I would rather have a cold, fizzy soda in the morning than hot coffee. And it grew from there.

I have given it up for Lent and other reasons in the past, but it never stuck. And I am not all that sure it will stick this time, but I am hoping I can get to the point where I just enjoy one every once in a while. I really like the taste and the fizz – it really isn’t a caffeine thing.

In order to kick my habit, I have stocked up on some alternatives. For the morning, I have some TJ's half-caf coffee, paired with sugar free vanilla creamer. For the daytime, I have my trusty water bottle(s) and a selection of tea bags and crystal light mixes.

If you haven’t sampled all the new varieties of Crystal Light recently, give them a try. My favorite has to be the Immunity variety. It is a cherry pomegranate flavor. A bit strong if you use the entire portion, half of the packet is plenty.

Anyway, so I am putting my goal out there into the universe, hoping it might help me succeed. It is ultimately part of my Bigger, Smaller Life plan – the health and fitness branches. These branch need a decent amount of TLC right now and are a current focus for me.  As is finding my inner “Athlete” again. I am missing her. I know she is still there, she just need to be reawakened.

ten good tips

So since the middle of January, my Bigger, Smaller Life project has taken on so much more meaning. It isn’t a simple task, but I am realizing it is worth the effort.

One thing that just popped up out of nowhere this year for me was Lent. It just happened in the midst of all the craziness and I didn’t even have the time to sit back and think about what Lent would mean for me this year... Until now. I am not going the traditional Lenten resolution route - for one reason, I am a bit late for that (we are almost 2 weeks in). Instead, I am going to put some effort into Kelli’s CAOK 2008. So many people have been there for me lately that I think a bit of CAOK is called for...

And then today, while reading posts from the Happiness Project blog, I came across a list of ten tips for living a better life, one day at a time... from Pope John XXIII who was Pope from 1958-63. When I started reading them, I really expected to read a set of more traditional, ritualistic tips. And I was surprised to read ten tips so grounded in goodness and simplicity. So, I thought I would share them with you:

1) Only for today, I will seek to live the livelong day positively without wishing to solve the problems of my life all at once.

2) Only for today, I will take the greatest care of my appearance: I will dress modestly; I will not raise my voice; I will be courteous in my behaviour; I will not criticize anyone; I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone except myself.

3) Only for today, I will be happy in the certainty that I was created to be happy, not only in the other world but also in this one.

4) Only for today, I will adapt to circumstances, without requiring all circumstances to be adapted to my own wishes.

5) Only for today, I will devote 10 minutes of my time to some good reading, remembering that just as food is necessary to the life of the body, so good reading is necessary to the life of the soul.

6) Only for today, I will do one good deed and not tell anyone about it.

7) Only for today, I will do at least one thing I do not like doing; and if my feelings are hurt, I will make sure that no one notices.

8) Only for today, I will make a plan for myself: I may not follow it to the letter, but I will make it. And I will be on guard against two evils: hastiness and indecision.

9) Only for today, I will firmly believe, despite appearances, that the good Providence of God cares for me as no one else who exists in this world.

10) Only for today, I will have no fears. In particular, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe in goodness. Indeed, for 12 hours I can certainly do what might cause me consternation were I to believe I had to do it all my life.

To conclude: here is an all-embracing resolution: "I want to be kind, today and always, to everyone".

In my opinion, these ten tips transcend any specific religion... They are just ten great tips for anyone that is spiritual, even if just a little. I know there are ways I can work these tips into my life. Maybe not all at once. I am going to just take it one step at a time.

yummy soup and more

Health and fitness have an important place on my Bigger, Smaller Life tree. The past year has done a number on my fitness level and my waistline... And overall, by the end of the year, I just didn’t feel “good.” So since New Years, I have been doing my best to increase my activity, to eat better and to take my vitamins/supplements.

I typically rely heavily on my scheduled sports for exercise, but I haven’t been scheduled for a USTA tennis match since before Christmas and we keep having BYE weeks in volleyball, so I have had to dig deep and get moving on my own. Sometimes this is a challenge because the sofa and/or the sewing machine tend to call my name louder than my iPod. Last week, I got moving on my own 4 days and finally had a tennis match yesterday afternoon. Yea, 5 workouts last week. And the tennis match took every minute of the 2 hours allotted. Too bad we didn’t win – we lost the third set tiebreaker at 11-13 points. And can I tell you how stiff my sides are today? Over a month off of tennis proves to you how good tennis is for your obliques! Good pain, good pain.

I think, odd as it may sound, I am having more luck motivating myself to exercise when I get home from work because of the radio show I listen to on the way home. I recently changed my work schedule, so I leave at 4:30 instead of 5 (that also means, I have to get up earlier too – it all evens out). This allows me to listen to The Fitness Guru (Lime on Sirius) on the way home. To hear interviews with fitness authors, the host’s answers to listener calls and emails and even just the host’s voice all make me want to exercise the moment I get home. Hey, I will take motivation wherever I can get it.

When it comes to eating healthfully, I have a few things I am trying to do: eat more fruits and vegetables, watch my sugar intake (not the sugar from fruits – more like sweets and especially soda) and limit the processed foods in my diet. My goal is to change my lifestyle... And as part of that, if I could lose a few pounds, that would be great. I am weary of excluding anything from my diet to lose weight (I’m not going to do Atkins or anything – goodness, my body needs carbs to think).I think a more natural, varied diet will be able to sustain me forever.

In working toward this, my goal is to try at least 2 new, healthy recipes each month. This past weekend, I was craving soup. I logged into a new site I found, Eat Better America, and found a Tomato and Roasted Sweet Pepper Soup that looked good... And easy. It was fun to make – I had never roasted bell peppers before and aside from a small red patch on my hand when I brushed the top of the over, it went well.

I couldn’t get it to photograph well, so I am borrowing a picture from the site.  Pair it will some crusty multi-grain bread with a little garlic and sea salt and it makes a very satisfying meal. If you like a chunkier soup, you could add a can of diced or stewed tomatoes along with the crushed tomatoes in the recipe. I have leftovers and I can’t wait to go home tonight and enjoy some for dinner... But of course, only after I exercise :)

happiness is...

One of the branches of my Bigger, Smaller life tree is Happiness.

The past year was a hectic, challenge-filled twelve months. Looking back, I can’t really put my finger on many truly happy moments. This isn’t to say that there weren’t any, I know there were, but I wasn’t actively focused on those moments and thus they were fleeting and not as memorable as they deserved to be. On the other hand, the stressful moments seemed to consume my life. I can remember many of them specifically and can list off the running themes quite easily. And it was the stressful moments that most greatly impacted my life. The stress seemed to linger and began affecting other parts of my world, not to mention my waist size.

So, this year I will remember the happy moments. I plan to commemorate them regularly and be openly grateful for them. (Gratitude is also a branch on my tree.) Goodness, it wasn’t easy to do this last year, so I wondered how I would accomplish it this year – the answer is, I choose to.

Yes, I choose to. I have read a few articles and posts on happiness and joy lately and they all assert that happiness is a choice. An article in Oprah’s January issue on Awakening Joy says that the first step toward happiness is intention or making the decision to be happy. It sounds so simple and logical – if you focus on happiness, you will become more aware of it and in turn allow more happiness into your life.

As hokey as it might sounds – I buy into the theory. Just by resolving to think more positively (the Half Full branch) and recognize the good in my life and acknowledging it (the Gratitude branch), I can feel the change. I feel more energetic, calm and motivated – I’m not saying I have had a miraculous conversion, but I think I am on the right road... What’s funny is that my life really hasn’t changed all that much, just my perspective on it. Same old family, same old job etc., but I appreciate the blessings a bit more everyday, place less importance on the annoying parts and feel happier as I do it.

As I kept reading that article, I kept coming across statements that resonated and aligned with my 2008 plan. By the end, I knew I had developed a good plan for myself. It’s last paragraph states “What we’ve learned about happiness is that it isn’t an it or a thing. Research has proven that there is no one set of circumstances that makes someone happy; it’s more about having a healthy mental attitude toward whatever you’re experiencing. So you can either chase happiness or you can choose to be happy. It really is that simple.”

Yea! I am chasing and choosing. Care to join me?

bigger, smaller 2008

I know I have been gone for a while. I just needed an extended holiday computer break – it felt good, but it also feel great to be back...

There is just something about January issues of magazines. All the headlines offer so much promise for a new you or a fresh start. Whether the headline promises “The most stylish year,” “ Lose 15lbs fast,” “Find instant calm,” or “Your fittest year starts now,” I just cant help snatching them all up. It is like pure entertainment mixed with resolution research – or if you like, call it falling off the magazine addition wagon.

I really would like this to be a good year, so I have been thinking a lot about resolutions and goals – trying to picture where I would like to be a year from now (or even further) and what will help me get there. I have really been struggling with it, the questions “who am I” and “who do I want to be” are really hard to answer. At least for me.

And I don’t think I have the answers yet. I only know bits and pieces... And the regular “resolutions” just didn’t seem like enough – I don’t just want to change this year, I want lasting growth, so I decided to take a more mindful approach. This almost backfired because I was a bit paralyzed in thought.

Then about a week ago, I heard something (or maybe I read it, I can’t remember) - it was the phrase “A bigger, smaller life.” The phrase resonated with me. I have a good life, but I want more for myself and those close to me. More doesn’t necessarily mean more stuff... It means fuller and meaningful. And smaller means more focused, simple and environmentally responsible – just as a start.

After writing down the phrase, I was able to focus my thoughts (no longer paralyzed) on what I need to do in order to build my bigger, yet smaller life. I made a list of the things I value, things I need to work on and things I might be missing. The list was long, so I sat on it for a few days and then whittled it down to a more manageable list.

On Friday, while looking through old computer files, I was inspired by a “Tree of Life” graphic I had saved. (A long time ago I wanted to create an embroidery design our of the Celtic Tree of Life, but never really got around to it.) My list was what I wanted for my life and the Tree of Life graphic represents that wish – so I decided to marry them together as a visual reminder to myself. I haven't sketched or drawn for a while, so this was fun - a full size version can be seen here. (Not sure if I will ever stitch it up – that is a lot of detailed stitching.)

My next steps are to flush out each of the areas into a “To Do” list or “To Remember” list. The lists will help me grow and get closer to where I want to be. Part resolution, part goal, part dream... It is as good a place to start as any. I, of course, will share along the way.